Lil Wayne got candid about his struggles with mental health, opening up to Emmanuel Acho about a childhood suicide attempt.
The rapper has been open about his mental health before, revealing on his song “Let It All Work Out” and on Solange’s “Mad” that he previously attempted suicide. In the past, he shared that he had accidentally shot himself in the chest as a child, though his verses on the tracks gave listeners a more full picture of what happened to a pre-teen Wayne.
Now, in his interview with Acho on the Uncomfortable Conversations series, the New Orleans native shared new details about that attempt which took place when he was just 12 years old after his aunt warned him that his mom knew he had lied about being at school. According to HipHop-N-More, his aunt told him his mother was going to throw away his rap books as punishment.
“I picked up the phone, I called the police,” Wayne said. “Yes I knew where she put her gun and it was in her bedroom. And so I went in her bedroom, grabbed the gun. I already made the phone call, looked in the mirror.”
Wayne shared that he first pointed the gun at his head before he “got a little too scared.”
“Then I said ‘F**k it,’” he said, making a finger gun gesture at his chest. The rapper said a Notorious B.I.G. music video, specifically “One More Chance,” was playing on the TV in the room.
“So I was looking, I was like, ‘You know what?’ Started thinking I had to get myself mad and noticed that I didn’t have to. That’s what scared me. How I knew I had a mental health problem was when I pulled the trigger.”
Wayne said he had aimed for his heart but “didn’t feel a thing,” explaining that he felt shock. It was the knocks of police that woke a young Wayne up. Miraculously, the future star crawled across the floor to knock on his door. Police kicked it down, stepping over him to search for drugs and weapons, Wayne said. But one officer, “Uncle Bob” got him medical attention.
In the interview, Wayne credits God for keeping him alive that day and that his mental health struggles have changed as he’s grown older. He also shared that he’s “so happy now” and that prayer keeps him connected.
Check out the full conversation here.